Letters to Marge: (Chapter 16) Breakfast and Holding On...

Dear Margaret...

Three days ago, we were in our Baguio house, and I woke up at around 7:15am. A bit earlier than usual, so i headed down to the kitchen to make breakfast for your mom.

Lo and behold... look who i found just freshly up from bed? Yep... it was you, kiddo...

So i promptly took you from your nanny, and proceeded to bring you downstairs for a steaming mug of Milo on that fine, cool and misty Thursday morning. You and i shared a single mug, alternately sipping. And before i proceeded to put your mom’s omelette together, we took a short stroll in the garden that slightly sparkled with morning dew drops on the leaves of the bushes and flowers.

When your mom came down to eat, i propped you up on my lap, and you ate with us a simple omelette of spicy spam, onions and tomatoes.

Before i left for work, you puckered up for a kiss, then waved me goodbye.

It is among the most beautiful memories i have of us... thank you for being such a wonderful child.

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As i write this, your mom and i have been having a pretty rough six months. And i don’t mean sandpaper rough, kid... we’re talking roller coaster running through the Grand Canyon without railway rough.

Your mom and i are still very much in love. But sometimes there are mistakes that cut really deep, and take a lot of time to heal. It’s difficult, and many in our shoes just throw in the towel and give up. But your mom and i aren’t like that. We’re both stubborn fighters, just like you’re going to be.

I’m praying that one day your mom and i are going to be able to look back at all this, and maybe not laugh (since this really is no laughing matter), but breathe a sigh of relief that we survived it. We’ll look at you and your beautiful almond eyes then, we’ll all smile together, and life will go on the way life is supposed to.

So far, we’re pulling through relatively well enough, and a lot of that has to do with you. Through the haze of vodka, and misty evenings clouded by tears of pain, regret, and flickering hope, you come through like the angel we’ve always called you to be.

For now, thank you so much, my daughter. I will make it up to you and mom...

When you’re old enough, ask me about this. I promise i’ll tell you EVERYTHING.

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When i was asked to say a few words at the wedding of Mike and Zeth, i said that “...married life is like a roller coaster... and that the most important thing in a marriage is to keep holding on, no matter what...”

But that’s not just something for marriage, kiddo. In life, when you love someone or something so much, hold on. Do everything you can to hold on. When your head tells you to let go, but your heart doesn’t, don’t. But when your heart really has tired and asks you to let go, then by all means, let go and move on.

My heart is telling me to hold on, and best of all, there’s a little voice from a little almond-eyed girl, who keeps smiling and laughing, that keeps cheering me on.

Thanks again, kiddo.

‘catch you later...

Love,

Dad